Can't sleep.

I am laying in my bed trying to fall asleep. I know I won't be able to do so for a while. It's a vicious cycle that I experience at night when I'm tired but not exhausted. First I focus on not thinking of anything but that naturally leads me to think about something and the chain begins. One thing leads to the next and then here I am at 1:15 am remembering one of the most compassionate events I've ever witnessed.

Towards the end of my mission I became ill will appendicitis. At the time I was companions with Hermana Sarah Johnson. A sweetheart of a girl to really say the very least. She was so kind to me. After I had been in bed for about 2 or 3 weeks I began feeling very VERY discouraged. I remember that at night I couldn't sleep (much like what is happening to me now) and my mind would begin to race around thinking of all the things I wished I could do or should be accomplishing. I was a missionary darn it! I was there to serve...not to be served!

One night probably around 2 in the morning I was laying in the dark in my broken little bed feeling the terrific pain of what had come from the surgery. I began to cry. I hardly ever cry but it was somewhat inevitable at this point. I was sad, mad, confused. And that's when I discovered the true heart of Hermana Johnson. By this point she had helped me through more physical obstacles than she had obviously signed up for as a brand new missionary due to my illness. But that night she helped heal my heart. I remember she explained to me the many different reasons why I could have been experiencing this particular trial. I remember she pleaded with me to believe I wasn't a terrible missionary for having to stay in bed from the appendicitis instead of preaching the gospel. I remember she brought comfort to my heart. She was a true servant of the Lord on the day--and each day that I learn more about her I love her more and more.